Television, the movie industry, and the fashion corps tells us that Kate Moss's skin-and-bones look is beautiful. They make Cindy Crawford and Naomi Campbell, Halle Berry, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts, Ally McBeal the entire cast of Friends and Beverly Hills 90210 the standard of beauty. We look at them, and the message that comes through loud and clear is that we need to be thinner, yet bigger-breasted, that we need to flatten our stomaches, lighten our skin, and fill our lips with collagen. We need shorter/longer hair and less of this and more of that. These women are beautiful, but they shouldn't be anyone's standard.
You are the only standard you need. You shouldn't want to look like anybody but you. God made you. And as my mother always told me, "God don't make junk."
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Faster than the speed of Mariah
Mariah Carey dropped her latest single on us last Tuesday and, alas, I couldn't duck in time. But! It's not bad -- not bad bad anyway. When I first read about it several weeks ago in a blog post that gave an excerpt of the lyrics, I expected it to be more horrendous. Why? Because it's a song that references YouTube. Yes, THAT YouTube. In the chorus. "YouTube" is repeated. In the chorus! YouTube! Is this the first time a song has mentioned YouTube (that is not a parody about YouTube)? Because it feels like we're witnesses to an historic event somehow. Overall, the song is like everything else about Mariah: hilarious, bizarre, and uncomfortably addictive. The best part? The cover art for the single that makes her look like she's magically/tragically lost five inches of her torso.
At the time, I heard rumors that MC's album was to be entitled That Chick (it ended up being a track title), which I thought was a very un-Mariahish title. A Mariah Carey studio album almost always has a single word for a title, and it must be a noun with overwhelmingly feminine connotations, e.g. Glitter and Emotions. Even Charmbracelet, normally two words, is oddly conflated into one. An exception to the one-word rule is Music Box, though, as with the previous examples, it adequately meets the girly quotient. The other exception is if the album includes her name in some way, e.g. her eponymous debut and The Emancipation of Mimi. Mariah Carey cannot be contained in one word. Mariah Carey cannot be properly expressed in a thousand words, but Mariah Carey doesn't know a thousand words, so she'll settle for two or four. "But, Leslie, what about her holiday album, Merry Christmas? That one breaks both rules!" True! For you see, the only thing as important as Mariah Carey herself is our Lord and Savior, who, strangely enough, is not Mariah Carey.
E=MC2, however, is the first formula to make it as a Mariah Carey title. Congratulations on breaking the rules! I'm looking forward to a release that also includes a track called "Lovin' You Long Time." Neat!
At the time, I heard rumors that MC's album was to be entitled That Chick (it ended up being a track title), which I thought was a very un-Mariahish title. A Mariah Carey studio album almost always has a single word for a title, and it must be a noun with overwhelmingly feminine connotations, e.g. Glitter and Emotions. Even Charmbracelet, normally two words, is oddly conflated into one. An exception to the one-word rule is Music Box, though, as with the previous examples, it adequately meets the girly quotient. The other exception is if the album includes her name in some way, e.g. her eponymous debut and The Emancipation of Mimi. Mariah Carey cannot be contained in one word. Mariah Carey cannot be properly expressed in a thousand words, but Mariah Carey doesn't know a thousand words, so she'll settle for two or four. "But, Leslie, what about her holiday album, Merry Christmas? That one breaks both rules!" True! For you see, the only thing as important as Mariah Carey herself is our Lord and Savior, who, strangely enough, is not Mariah Carey.
E=MC2, however, is the first formula to make it as a Mariah Carey title. Congratulations on breaking the rules! I'm looking forward to a release that also includes a track called "Lovin' You Long Time." Neat!
Friday, November 23, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Monday, September 03, 2007
D is for Disappointment
I'm disappointed in you, Maddox. I was expecting huge laughs from the man behind the Best Page in the Universe, but by the time I got to "L - Lumberjacks," the jokes in The Alphabet of Manliness became thin and stale.
Then again, it began thin and stale. "A - Asskicking" could have kicked ass harder if it focused a bit more on kicking actual ass and not on non-assential parts such as the nuts or the vulva. Maybe I'm just too literal, but headbutting a woman in her womany area isn't that painful anyway. Do it the right way and it's kind of pleasant.
Then again, it began thin and stale. "A - Asskicking" could have kicked ass harder if it focused a bit more on kicking actual ass and not on non-assential parts such as the nuts or the vulva. Maybe I'm just too literal, but headbutting a woman in her womany area isn't that painful anyway. Do it the right way and it's kind of pleasant.
